Walt's Corner

It’s hard to write an original review these days as someone who doesn’t (nor would want to) have early access for the sole purpose of writing a review. I enjoy reading. I enjoy writing. What I don’t enjoy is feeling obligated to read or write. If I write a review, it is because I want to. And I definitely want to write about FUN TIMES AT THE BLOODBATH.

Ginger Nuts Horror review probably puts it most eloquently as Strand’s “sharpest, funniest, and most unsettling novel in years.”  Can I even reference another review from my own? Sure I can. I just did. In the words of Ziggy, “Let’s do this, bitches!” Don’t know who Ziggy is? You will – if you read FUN TIMES AT THE BLOODBATH. 

Our protagonist is Margot. Her brother receives a personal invite to beta-test a new video game about to enter the market. A game that, despite the low-end graphics, promises to be the hottest and bloodiest new game. What none of the beta-testers are suspecting is how this game has been engineered to be so addictive that they cease all efforts of survival – think eating, drinking, sleeping, relieving themselves of bodily waste. Anyone who interferes with their gameplay meets with tragic results. But Margot is on the case until the end. Little does she realize she is part of the sinister plot to release the game to the masses!

As usual, Strand’s wordsmithing kept me engaged beyond my usual pre-bedtime casual reading. It was almost as though I was… addicted? Damn you Jeff!

There are so many moving parts to this story a concordance would almost be justified. When Strand moves you on to the next set of characters, you reluctantly read ahead, still wanting to know what’s going to happen to the last group of individuals you were reading about but soon their fate falls to the wayside as you are fully engulfed in the next set’s plight. Then we spin on a dime and continue on with the previous sets of characters and I found myself saying, “oh yeah… back to these guys!”

Moneyquote: “And she wasn’t thrilled to know her daughter had a clit ring.”

And now that I have finished FUN TIMES IN THE BLOODBATH – no wait, AT THE BLOODBATH, is there anything more I can do? Have I peaked? All I can do is say goodnight!

Pick up your digital or paperback here, but do so at your own risk.

Mid-80s I worked at a KFC in Illinois and some in St. Louis, MO. If you’ve ever worked for a franchise in the foodservice industry, you know you’ll be called to fill in for staff shortages in other locations. KFC. Hardees (goddamn those iced cinnamon buns were the shit!). Pizza Hut. Some ma and pop diner known for their paper-thin burgers and shakes. Disney World (Epcot Center). Lots of experience in the food industry. Not to mention KP-duty in the Army, back when that was thing.

KFC was where I developed my taste for some chicken. I’m not real big on chicken but breasts are OK. And the occasional thighs for my gyro meat. Today’s KFC slop tastes nothing like it did back then. Much like Pizza Hut’s flavors – nothing like the 70s-80s flavor they were known for. I’ve already written about that.

Hours of internet sleuthing led me to the closest flavor that resembles the original KFC flavor – Marion-Kay’s Chicken Seasoning 99-X. Some argue this *is* the original, created by the Colonel himself revealed after he was bought out and changed the recipe a bit. Some say if you deep fry in peanut oil with citric acid in a pressure cooker you get the exact flavor. Alas, I have no pressure cooker capable of deep frying in. In fact, mine specifically warns against deep frying under pressure. Back to the seasoning, this is a bigger batch that has you adding salt to the mix and you either add it to your flour for breading or season you chicken with if not breading. I don’t really do breading – just once with this spice just to sample. I’ll do it again soon to deep fry some chicken tenders. A smaller version of the seasoning that has the extra salt already included is called Chicken Seasoning Plus and is readily available on Amazon if you want to try it out. No, this aint no affiliation link. I get no kickback if you buy. This smaller version is what I’m currently using. Very close to that original KFC flavor. The small difference in taste can be attributed to not being cooked under pressure in oil. The makes a world of difference.

Having been satisfied with my seasoning, I set out to replicate that delicious gravy. Oh my god how I loved that gravy. I still remember Sunday afternoons as a teen, heading over to the restaurant and getting my order with employee discount. A bucket of chicken, large side of mashed potatoes, large gravy, and large baked beans.

KFC’s baked beans back then were really a restaurant specific item. By that I mean it didn’t come as a KFC brand that we just open and heated. It was made at the discretion of the cook for the day and when it was gone, it was gone for the day.

The gravy was made by mixing water, a packet, and a healthy scoop of chicken catchings out of the grease filters from the pressure cooker’s oil following the cook. Which is why my recipe here will not be quite up to par or appear the darker brown color. I ain’t pressure cooking any chicken in oil (save that for the social media challenges) so I don’t have any grease filter droppings to add to the mix. Next best thing I have would be some standard chicken broth. Assuming you already know how to make a basic gravy, here’s my recipe.

30 g flour (1/4 cup)
1.5 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup milk
2 tsp Marion-Kay Chicken Seasoning Plus

This made enough to produce 10 (almost 2oz) servings. Looking at the featured picture above, that is one full ladle over a serving of mashed potatoes. Same amount as I poured into each 2 oz container. Freezes/thaws/reheats well.

I saw this recipe for State Fair Lemonade that involved cooking/infusing the zest of lemon into the simple syrup and thought to myself, I could apply that to margaritas. What better day to try this than on Independence Day?

Making homemade lemonade is pretty easy. All it requires are some lemons, water, and sugar. Without the lemons, you are making syrup – water and sugar. How syrupy it is depends on the ratio of water to sugar. Want a nice cheap syrup for pancakes? 50/50. Same for what is used in drink mixology that is commonly called simple syrup. Making a single pitcher of lemonade? You may want to mix almost quarts of water with 1 cup of sugar and the juice from 4-6 lemons. Same as Kool-Aid.

More condensed levels of syrup, such as simple syrup, can be pre-made and stored for convenience. Want a single quick glass of lemonade? Water, ice, juice of a lemon, and a squeeze of the simple syrup to taste. Which brings me to my current subject matter, the lowly margarita. My favorite mixed drink. The only one I make on a regular basis. Now these aren’t the official ratios for a margarita, but are what I prefer.

My own recipe is as follows:

• 4 cups ice
• 1/2 cup tequila (any tequila)
• 3oz lime juice (freshly squeezed)
• 2oz Cointreau (triplesec)
• 2oz simple syrup

Blend all ingredients until smooth, garnish with lime in a salt (tajin) rimmed glass. My usual Tuesday evening drink. Be warned, if you currently enjoy regular old triplesec in your margaritas, don’t use Cointreau. You will never again be satisfied with regular triplesec again and be forced to spend 3-4 times as much per bottle.

Here’s where the State Fair recipe comes in. When I saw that recipe for State Fair Lemonade, I thought to myself, what if I applied that to my simple syrup I make? In case you didn’t go read that recipe, it involves peeling the lemons and adding them to your sugar and letting that mixture sit overnight prior to adding to boiling water. After 5 minutes you stir, strain, and add to your lemon juice and ice.

So that is exactly what I did with my limes for my next batch of simple syrup. I peeled 7 limes (they were small) and mixed the peelings with 321 grams (1 1/2 cups) of sugar. Mixed them up real good and let them sit on the counter overnight. By morning it’s a moist concoction. I boiled about a cup and a half of water, added my sugar/peel mixture, let sit for 5 minutes (or until all the sugar has dissolved), stirred and strained. I now have my lime infused simple syrup. Although technically it is no longer a simple syrup. Guess I’ll call it lime syrup.

The result? Man, this was the best-tasting margarita I have ever made. Hands down.

I recorded all this so I can put together a video test-driving Final Cut Pro. If/when it happens, it’ll be linked here.

I’d like to share the story about the David Muir exclusive, climbing up to the top of the Statue of Liberty. But when I go to ABC News website and literally type in “David Muir Statue of Liberty,” not a goddamn thing pops up about David Muir climbing the Statue of Liberty. So fuck ABC News. I’ll post a competing news site’s story instead. See here. Maybe it’s there someplace and ABC just has a horrible search engine built into their website.

Anyways, I happened to catch Muir on Kelly & Mark where they were interviewing him about his climb. Muir stated how he was shocked to learn that the statue sways. Really? Shocked? I mean, I’m not in the news business and I’m only a few years older than him, so surely he remembers when the whole swaying thing was an issue back in 1982-1986 when they had to shut it down for a while to restore it by July 4, 1986. Reagan. Iacocca. Statue of Liberty. Truly, an all-American story for Independence Day as we celebrate America 250!

In the spirit of patriotism, here is a picture of a set of uncirculated coins from 1979 that I have.

No camping this year for us during the long weekend. Almost done fixing the bracket holding up the fresh water tank on the RV.

According to my report from Honeywell, our air conditioner had to run 11 hours more in the month of May than last year. System is 17 years old now, plus the average temps were 1 degree higher than last year. Our system struggles to maintain 74º during these hot triple digit days.

While Doppler Dave says we’ve had 6 triple digit days this year, Doppler Walt calls bullshit. Doppler Walt says we started hitting triple digits the last week in May and have hit them almost every day in June.

Time for a new HVAC system? Might as well do it before it has a chance to break down forcing us to go a week or two without AC.